How to Repair a Relationship

Your sweet love is not as sweet anymore. Fights break out between you and your loved one all the time. You feel frustrated every time you try having a meaningful conversation. Or even worse, the one you gave your heart to cheated on you with someone else.

These are all terrifying signs of a relationship gone bad. Once you recognize these signs, you have to work out how to turn the tide equip yourself on how to repair a relationship. You can do this in a few not so easy steps.

Step 1 – Get to the Root

Your first step is to find out what is really wrong with the relationship. Couples tend to start blaming each other for a variety of things they did or did not do, leaving out what really is the main problem. Talk to your partner calmly, clearly, and candidly and try to determine what the underlying problems are.

Avoid placing blame, inducing anxiety, making each other angry, or getting worked up.

Step 2 – Accept Responsibility

If you are pondering how to get your ex back, you have to work very hard to create a good relationship. In that same way, bad relationships do not just accidentally happen.

They are a result of the couple putting in some negative energy into it. Thus, to get on the path of repairing the relationship, you first have to admit to and accept your role in destroying the beautiful relationship you once had.

Step 3 – Prioritize

Whenever you think of how to get your ex back, remember that pride comes before a fall, and in the case of relationships, it comes before a falling out. You have to decide whether you want to be right or you want to be happy?

You have to make a resolution within yourself to put you and your partner's emotions before the logical reasoning of who was wrong and who was right.

Step 4 – Is It Worth It?

Look at your partner and just ask yourself, is the relationship worth saving? Once you make up your mind that it is, pull no stops towards making it work.

Do everything you can to restore the love, mutual understanding, respect, intimacy, and open communication that you once enjoyed with each other.

Step 5 – List Changes

A very important part of fixing your relationship is identifying what went wrong in the first place then resolving to change. Adopt some new, healthy rules for your relationship to enable your love grow.

Do away with negative, defeatist, self-sabotaging habits and replace them with self-supporting, positive habits and attitudes. Your partner will love you all the more for it.

Step 6 – Forgive

The benefits of forgiveness are so strong and so obvious that forgiveness forms the basis of almost every religion I know of.

Even non-believers in religion and faith know that true forgiveness is a key pillar to restoring love and trust. Forgive your partner for all past wrongs committed and earnestly and sincerely ask for forgiveness.

Step 7 – Reconnect Lovingly

When you follow the steps on how to repair a relationship and get your partner on the same wavelength, it is time to lovingly reconnect.

Once you and your partner are back on track, renew your commitment to each other. Share your resolve to make things work and adhere to the new rules you have set to improve the relationship.

Realize the past mistakes that you both committed and resolve never to repeat them in future.

I Am Getting Married But Still Love My Ex

So there you are, getting married but still love your ex :-( I know how hard it is to let go the feelings you have, but you should understand one thing, marriage is a vow. Are you ready to make that vow and yet you have some other feelings which might lead to your husbands heartbreak?

I personally believe you are not going to make a wise decision.  You need to take a DECISION which will not impact negatively on you and your husband to be even if it will be your ex.

I Do Not intend to provoke your feelings and to help you I have came with the below advice -

1. Decision

Before you get married you need to make a decision. You need to decide who you are going to marry. Do you still love your ex or are you ready to move on? Are you going to get married to your ex or to the man you are currently dating?

You should not avoid these questions at any cost but answer them sincerely. Make a wise decision never ignore your feelings.

If it's your current man then avoid your ex and if it's your ex, then get the tips on how to get your ex boyfriend back first. Sometimes breakups are reversible and it's worth trying to get them back. But again, it's not recommended if you broke up because of a good reason such as cheating, abusive behavior, over drinking etc.

2. Follow Your Heart

In every decision you make, ensure you follow your heart. Many people end up in unsuccessful marriages because they ignored their hearts. If you feel deeply from your heart that you love your ex more than your current man then well and good and if you love your current man and it's deeply from your heart then go on and give him all your heart.

3. Know the Consequences of Your Action

Before you act in any manner, first evaluate the consequences. Ask yourself the following questions, how will my ex feel when I get married to my current man? How will my current man feel and react if I get married to my ex? Know that every decision you make, there must be consequences and people will react differently to the decision you will make.

4. Find a Better Way of Expressing Your Feelings

You can worsen the situation or make it better depending on how you will express your feelings and the decision you make. If you feel you still have something special for your ex then find an appropriate time of explaining it to your current man, for example you can take him on a horse ride then afterwards gently tell him the truth.

Try to make it as early as possible before marriage preparations are complete. And if it is your ex, tell him the truth and after that, avoid meeting him. If you have to meet him, ensure your man is aware.

Marriage is a serious institution and you have to make wise decisions before you make marriage vows. If you are still thinking what to do and what not to do then get relationship advice from expert. Just ensure you follow your heart and find a better way of expressing your decision to avoid future regrets.

When to Start Premarital Counseling

While you may be fussing and stressing over the type of flowers to grace your wedding and the best reception for your guests, it gets kind of easy to forget about preparing yourself for the real marriage.

What many couples do not realize is that whereas the wedding lasts only for a single day, a marriage is a lifetime bond. So before you think about saying "I do" you might want to consider going for Premarital Counseling.

So you already know how to attract a man, probably the reason you are getting married in the first place. But, do you really know everything about your soon to be husband? As we all know, when it comes to love, no one ever wants to see the other in bad light

All you want to do is build a perfect world of your own and dust the imperfections and flaws right under the door mat. Sure, this may work for a while but not long enough. Taking a look at the current divorce rate, you get the gist of what premarital counseling is all about. [Related - Pre Marriage Counseling - 6 Reasons Why You Need It]


So when is the best time to go for these sessions? Should you wait after marriage or before it? Keeping in mind that premarital counseling is all about uncovering your true selves and knowing your partner for who he really is, it goes unsaid that the best time to start your sessions should be before marriage.

These sessions can either be preceded by a therapist or a religious leader depending on your preference. You might be required to go for at least 5 45-minute sessions before you finally get married.

Still, why should you be so eager to point out the flaws in your relationship even before you get married?

For most couples, getting married often comes with a gush of excitement and not so many know how to balance the excitement of walking down the isle and the gravity of having to spend an entire life time with a single person. It is because of this that you are advised to go for premarital counsels so as to get the proper training and skills to keep your marriage together. Yes, believe it or not, marriage is indeed a challenge.

Even though what women want from men might be in plain black and white, you still need to know what your partner wants from you, how he reacts in different situations and most important of all, how certain events can bring out a different side of him. Without knowing such about your life long partner, you are bound to encounter a number of hurdles in your marriage.

So do not let marriage ruin your perfect relationship, get all the training and skills that you need to start a healthy and loving marriage. Although premarital counseling does not exactly shield your from misunderstandings in your marriage, it sure does give you a better way of dealing with them. Have a happy married life :-)

Also read - 41 Pre Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask Before Marriage

Related Posts:

• Why is premarital counseling important?
• How to make a guy want you more
• How Well Do You Know Your Partner?

Top 5 Signs He Is Going to Propose

Now most women will agree that men can be a secretive bunch. While you may already know that he is going to marry you, figuring out when he's finally going to pop the question gets a tad bit tricky. That is why, in this article I am covering some signs he is going to propose.

So you have been hinting for quite some time that you want to take the walk down the aisle and start a family. He looks like he's up for the idea but still no ring in sight, just when is he going to propose?

Over the years, we have learnt to decipher some of men's behavior, so if you spot any of the following top 5 signs, then you my dear, are about to get proposed to.

#1. He's suddenly interested in wedding rings

Unless your man works at a jewelry shop, chances are he does not know a thing about wedding rings. Plus, even if he does know about them, he would ask questions about them just to know what you are in to to ensure he gets you the perfect ring.

So unless he's pulling a sick joke on you or helping a friend out, any questions about engagements rings and wedding rings are usually one of the signs he is going to propose.

#2. He is spending more time with you

As opposed to when you first met, your man no longer spends too much time with the boys. He has decided to let the bachelor boat sail and wants to know his soon to be wife more. This change often comes gradually, just one of the many signs he loves you.

#3. A change in financial plans

You might notice your man keeping a low tab, almost as if he is saving for something. So he has sold his sleek beauty (read car) and bought a more fuel efficient and spacious vehicle, trying to save on costs? I don't think so. He's probably trying raise enough money for the ring or the whole wedding.

#4. La Familia

You might notice your man trying as much as possible to bring both your families together and paying brief visits to your parents. This is often a strong indicator that he wants to know what kind of a family you come from and how you expect to be treated.

Keeping in mind that most people tend to mimic their parents in marriage, it goes unsaid that any man would want to know a woman's family well enough before getting involved in marriage.

#5. Moving out

He's finally decided to move out of his man crib and go for a 4 bedroom house. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that he is making room for a family.

As sneaky as he may be, the above signs that show he is going to propose never fail. All the same, you should not put too much pressure on him. Just stay calm and you'll be surprised just how fast he'll go on his knees.

Related posts from the web:

• 5 marriage proposal mistakes to avoid
• How to make someone fall in love with you forever
• 3 Signs You’re Not Ready to Get Married
• 7 Tips to make a guy fall for you

How to Keep Your Man Interested In You Forever

Are you wondering how to keep your man interested? Well, getting a guy's attention is quite easy; however, the real challenge is usually keeping him interested.

The big question is; does he need to be in love with you so as to achieve that? Well, yes and no. You just need confidence and courage and strategy to do that, in addition you don't have to do that directly. You only need to know how to make him develop a growing interest in you and things will flow.

Try to follow the below five tips to keep your man interested in you forever:

Tip No. 1. Analyze what you feel

Assuming that there is a guy whom you secretly admire but he is not aware of what you feel and think about him. Many people confuse love and lust not knowing that there is just a slight difference between these two. One common thing about the two is that they both start with a feeling of interest.

Take time to know where to base your feelings. If you feel that your relationship is based on more than physical attraction, then it will be easy to keep him interested. If not, start building a friendship; create a fondness that will last even after the initial lust is gone.

Tip No. 2. Simple acts of kindness

Keeping a guy interested goes beyond the bedroom. The general idea is usually to make him see a girl he can spend the rest of his life with. This means that you have to work hard and show kindness and generosity whenever you can.

Take the advantage of giving him space if he is out of the queue, when he asks for something and you happen to have it, be the generous person and give him. After all these little kind acts, he will have surely learnt something and may be interested to know you more deeply.

Tip No. 3 Ask him out sometimes

How long your relationship lasts will depend on how much work you put into it. Now that you know each other, make sure that he feels at ease with you. Ask him out like going to the beach or to a cinema, at least where it will be easy to make him learn your feelings bit by bit.

Whether you love him or lust for him the bottom line is you feel that you want to turn him on. Do not feel shy about playing the temptress and bringing back the original feelings of desire you both shared when you started dating. Dress in your fancy dress and show off what is hidden under your clothes to entice him.

The beach is a great place to achieve that since you will deliberately ask him to swim with you, and if he hesitates, there is no easier way to turn a guy on than to model a sexy bikini or some lingerie. Don't just ask him without touching him, he is your man.

Hold him by his arms or waist, talk softly and show in your face that a 'no' from him will really disappoint you. There are plenty of things you can do to corrupt his mind. Keep up the seduction and he will be around for a long while.

Tip No. 4. Have an indirect conversation that direct conversation

It is always wise to know what turns a guy off  to ensure that you don't sour this immature relationship. Don't fear that he may be irritated if you asked him such a thing.

You really don't have to ask him directly, but, rather you can have a discussion of what turns men off in general. Be keen about the points he tells you, since most of them will be based on what he personally doesn't like. Avoid doing those things he hates at all costs.

Tip No. 5 Talk about marriage

When you are sure that the man you are dating is a keeper, start talking about serious business such as marriage or settling down. However, be very tactical about it so that you won't sound like you are trying to force things.

Ask him about his long term goals. Try and show him that you are interested in settling down with him. Show him you are dependable, serious and committed. This is the best way to get a man to commit.

Those are five of the best tips on how to keep your man interested. If you follow them well, you will be having your happily ever after pretty soon.

Related Ebooks From Amazon:

The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family
Make Him Commit and Think It's His Idea


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The 11 Keys to a Successful Marriage

The key to a successful marriage lies in your character and ability to know what your partner likes and dislikes.

In the present age we live in, there are so many broken homes and in fact, over 40% couple’s divorce every year.

God does not want divorce. Divorce is not a good thing in the eyes of God.

You can have a successful marriage if you apply the following tips in your marital life. This keys I believe, are things you know of, but you often neglect.

1. Learn to tolerate your husband

Your husband might offend you but do not pull heaven with your anger. Learn to tolerate him. Your maturity will keep your marriage. Don't get angry about little things. Nobody is perfect, understand that. Marriage is simply accommodating each other challenges or forthcoming.

2. Trust, no matter what!

Learn to trust your husband no matter what happens. Don't take heed to what anyone tells you about your husband.  Trust him even if you know he is wrong. If he does a bad thing (and you know about it), let him know your feelings. Make him know that he may destroy your family’s personality if even does not change his attitude.

Pro Tip: Trust is the foundation and the main key for a successful marriage. Build your marriage on trust.

3. Make ''I love you'' a part of your daily statement:

Make it a point of duty to tell your husband 'I love you'. Don't just say it casually. Say it as if you mean it.

Surprise your husband with love gifts. Be very creative and imaginative. Convey your love to him in words and in action. Convey to him that not only does he matter in your life, but you actually love him from the bottom of your heart. Tell him that he is all that matters to you.

Pro tip: Make your partner feel special.

4. Spend a quality amount of time together

If for instance, your husband wakes up from bed early, try to wake up with him. Have breakfast together. Make it a point of duty to make him sit and talk. Go on a bike ride with him. Take him out to the beach. Just find a way to bond and try to keep your husband happy all the time.

Pro Tip: Be with him from time to time. Sometimes, he might just like your companionship.

5. Appreciate your partner (husband)

Learn to say ''thank you’’ to your husband. Let him know that you really appreciate all that he has done for you and that you are proud of him.  Be his pillar of support. Be his cheerleader. Be interested in his profession.

6. Pray

Prayer is the main key to having a successful marriage. Learn to pray and intercede for your husband. Prayers can change the heart of a man even when it seems he is so stubborn.

7. Don't be rude - be patient

When your husband corrects you, keep quiet. Let him express his mind. Be always patient to listen to him. Be submissive!

8. Watch your words

No matter how rude or non-challant your husband may seem to be, don’t be forced to say negative words.

The words of our mouth are like seeds. They are very spiritual.  Note that a statement can destroy a 20 years marriage. So, use it wisely.

9. Let him be

Don't always choke your husband - give him time to be alone! At times, if he is in a quite mood; leave him alone. He might want some time to meditate.

10. Work on yourself

It is very important that you work on yourself too. If you know of any habits that annoys him, work on getting rid of them. If you make mistakes, admit it. Do not shout back at him.

Make him proud to be associated with you. Work on your skin, hair, and facial appearance to make him ''wow''.

Pro tip:  Dress up to honor him.

11. Do crazy things together

Cultivate a happy atmosphere in your home. Have a swim together.  Sometimes, have your bath with him (you can have great sex there if you want). Always look for ways to laugh together. Surprise him with crazy, amusing things.

Pro tip: A happy atmosphere does make a big difference in the success of a marriage. Almost every couple can have a successful marriage if they place it as their top no 1 priority. Avoid all the common marriage problems and make your relationship work forever. You just need to have willingness to do it.

Apply these tips, these are the main keys you need to have a successful marriage. Wishing you a happy and successful marriage life :-)

Photo credit - freedigitalphotos.net

41 Pre Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask Before Marriage

I always tell young, to-be couples that marriage is not something they should rush into.

If you rush into marriage, you will rush out.

The key to a successful marriage lies in your ability to tolerate your partner and care for the person, as if he/ she is the only person on planet earth.

I always tell my friends that I cannot marry someone I don't understand because, the key to a healthy and successful marital life lies in the ability for both parties to understand each other.

Rarely do couples think how they will handle unemployment? Who will take the kids to school? What will we do if we have kids?

In fact, you will be surprised that most so-called couples don't even know the basic information about themselves (background records, date of birth, and the other person’s middle name).

To ensure a long lasting and healthy marriage, it is important that both couples understand why they're going into marriage, their responsibilities and how they will work through tough times, when they come.

While several organizations and corporate bodies offer pre marriage counseling to help couples understand if they have what it takes to run a successful marriage, some people still find it awkward to go for counseling.

If counseling is not your style, then these pre marriage counseling questions are a great way to help you understand your role in marriage.

1. What are my partner’s goals?
2. What are my partners likes and dislikes?
3. How do I please my partner?
4. How will we handle each other family and relatives?
5. How will my partner and I marriage my finances?
6. How much will my partner and I be saving every month?
7. How will we settle disagreements?
8. How will we pay bills?
9. How do we respond to challenges when they come?
10. Who will do the household chores?
11. How will we divide the household chores?
12. What are our assets?
13. Do you need time to mediate?
14. Are you comfortable discussing your sexual life. I mean likes and dislikes?
15. Which favorite bed game should we play when we have sex?
16. How many times should we have sex in a month?
17. How will we make decisions together?
18. Should we talk about sex?
19. How strong is your partner's relationship with God?
20. How much should we give the charity every month?
21. Can we adopt a child when we get married?
22. Who will be solely responsible for our kids' school fees?
23. Can we both forgive each other?
24. How do we handle conflict?
25. Do we want to have children?
26. Do you want to have children?
27. How well do we know each other?
28. When in the week can we go see our In-laws?
29. Do you think we listen to each other well?
30. What are our expectations for marriage be like?
31. How will we survive when tough financial challenges face us?
32. Do you have all it takes to stay through wealth and poverty?
33. How committed are you to the relationship?
34. How do we train our kids?
35. How often should we go to church in a week?
36. How will we handle large purchases?
37. How do we manage accounts?
38. What jobs has my partner held?
39. How spiritual and well behaved is my partner?
40. Is my partner patient and submissive?
41. How often should we go on vacation (in the year)?

These pre marriage counseling questions are not meant to make you doubt the love you have for your partner, but, by answering these questions with your partner, you both will be more prepared, physically, mentally, and psychologically.

And you'll also be ready (no matter how strong the challenges are) to stand by each other and succeed in marriage.

By being submissive and open to each other, you will have a better understanding on how to deal with problems when they come.

Marriage is a good thing. Be patient and let your sub-conscious lead you into making the right decisions.

Take your time to answer these questions. These questions will prepare your mind for future responsibilities.

Photo credit - freedigitalphotos.net